Kermit Takes On Nebraska

I woke up groggy and disoriented at 3:30, which is the time I am normally going to bed. I drove over to Brandon’s but making sure to stop and get a burger, because there is not better idea than going on a cross country flight with a bacon sirloin burger rolling around inside my fragile digestive system.

I got to Brandon’s and stood out in the cold waiting for him to get ready. As we drove to the airport, we talked about our favorite places to shop for socks and the variety of ice cream flavors. At the gate, Brandon swindled his way in to first class. We made our way through security, and they stopped me and re scanned my deodorant and baby powder out of my bag and made a huge deal about re scanning them, because if we can make it across the country without chafing the terrorists win. As I walked to my seat in the back of the plane, I had to pass by Brandon who was sprawled out in first class with his legs crossed. I was sandwiched between a wheezing mastodon of a woman and an older gentleman who apparently had enjoyed quite a few cocktails before our 6 am flight. I sat in my chair with all the enthusiasm of a British kid going to the dentist and promptly put in my head phones to drown out the squawking of the flight attendants. I think flying would be more enjoyable if they just place a coke machine at the back of the plane. I fell asleep and awoke to the plane being tossed around in the air. The gentleman to my right, who it seemed had been enjoying a few more cocktails after take off was laughing and enjoying himself. I believe he thought we were on some sort of roller coaster, and I could feel the lady on my right sweating because she was spilling over the arm rest.

We landed and had to sprint through the Denver airport to make our connection, it was a prop plane, which is much smaller and scarier to ride in. There was no first class so Brandon had to sit in the back with the rest of us common people. That flight was about as fun as watching a quadriplegic synchronized swim team, I was right next to the engine so I could not see anything out the window. We landed in Omaha and went to get lunch and went back to the hotel where Brandon got ready and I tried to hit on the lady working at the front desk of the hotel.

We got to the venue and met the guys in Justin’s corner and were taken back to see him in the locker room. We prayed for him and let him warm up while we wandered. The first few fights were good, but as the arena filled with more fans, the intensity was about the same as a fat guy trying to get his arm unstuck from a Pringles can. I met the guy who was fighting Justin; he was a big huge, scary looking man who happened to be undefeated. About half way through the fight card, Josh, Justin’s buddy came to get us. We watched as Justin pumped himself up by yelling, pacing back and forth and pounding his chest like a gorilla. We prayed for him a couple of times and then I positioned my self to get some pictures of him walking out.

The fight started and Justin threw a punch and picked his opponent up and slammed him on the matt and proceeded to throw punches into the face and head of his previously undefeated foe.

I ran to the cage like a 13 year old girl at a Back Street Boys concert and took pictures like a Japanese tourist as Justin’s hand was raised and he thanked Fight Pastor from the cage. As he walked out of the cage, I gave him a deep, long hug, and then I remembered that he had just worked up a huge sweat and it was all dripping on to me. It was like holding on to a small sea lion. I dried my self off and went to meet him behind the curtain. We prayed for him again and through that we got the chance to meet a lot of other fighters who really want us to pray for them the next time they fight.

Brandon and I left to find some dinner, which was hard because Omaha is the size of the Alderwood Mall. We finally found a fancy restaurant, and we were the only customers there no on a date, which was awkward to say the least.

The next morning we took the car over the river to Iowa so I could get a tattoo of a dragon eating a spaceship on my back, but the guy working at the store was mean so we met up with Justin and his family for lunch at the casino. His buddy Josh was there as well and there is a chance he will be fighting here in Seattle at the end of the month. We said out goodbyes and then we left for the airport.

Because Brandon had to preach the next day, he took the earlier flight, and left at 3:30 and left me to wait in the Omaha airport until my flight left at 7:50. I tried taking a nap until some chatty broad sat behind me talking about her dog’s new diet, I knew right away she was from Seattle, just because no one else in the world cares about giving organic food to their pets the way Seattleites do. I got on my plane and fell asleep all the way to Denver and then waited for 90 minutes in the Denver airport. I was seated next to a small Asian college student who would look at me for a second and then turn her head in disgust, which made the flight home most enjoyable.

I am glad I had the chance to make the trip out to watch Justin fight, I’m just hoping the next time he fights it is somewhere other than Omaha.

2 Comments

  1. Posted March 9, 2010 at 10:02 am | Permalink

    Don’t forget it’s Nebraska who grows the corn to make the high-fructose corn syrup that has replaced all other sweeteners in our diets and made the united states the most obese nation in the world.

  2. Posted April 23, 2010 at 11:23 am | Permalink

    dudeee. stop being cruel to fat people…..you’re a better person than that!

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